Chronicles of a Natural Apostolic: Encouragement for Discouragement

I am all about encouraging others to do what is right for their hair, to keep up the good work and to not even consider giving up! Whenever you need an encouraging word, Kendra is there for you! Yet there are times I am speaking encouragement that I am wishing someone would speak to me. For about the past month my hair journey has gotten a bit hard. Straightening my hair was a huge highlight because I was able to see the growth! It was super exciting for me to see how much my hair had grown :) well about two weeks later, discouragement came.

The washing, detangling and protective styling takes sooo much time. I was wishing I could easily put my hair into a bun and call it a day.

I wanted it down my back already! I looove my pentecostal sisters at church, but it started bugging me that my hair was so much shorter. I was wishing I could just have different hair.

Kendra why did you cut your hair in the first place?? When I was in the world I didn't know the truth. I chopped my almost mid back hair into a super short cut. I was wishing I had never ever done that.

If only I had mixed textured hair, straight hair - any other type of hair- life would be so much easier for me concerning my hair. I was wishing the kinks and curls would just disappear. Suddenly relaxed hair began to look appealing for the first time in a very long time.

Now I understand why so many black women give in and resort to weaves, extensions and wigs. Its easier to fit in than to stand out. Is conformity really wrong when it makes you feel more comfortable in your own skin?

-the pressure was really on-

And the biggest of all- God I love natural hair but why did you have to make my hair this texture?

I am being transparent and open to share my thoughts with you because I know these are common battles with having natural hair.

On Thursday night I was preparing myself for bed. I was frustrated because I was exhausted but I had to prep my hair for the next day and tie it up. My husband was in bed waiting patiently for me to finish, as he always does. I threw down my comb and said,

"Why does it take so long for me to do my hair?!"

My husband answered quick without any hestiation,

"Because its so beautiful."

I replied, "what do you mean?"

He explained, "Butterflies are one of the most beautiful yet fragile insects. Did you know that if you touch their wings they can never fly again?"

"No I didn't know that..."

His words touched me. It was as if God spoke through him the answer to all of my frustration.

My hair is beautiful.

My hair is fragile and requires care, because its beautiful.

My hair may not look like everyone elses, but it is still beautiful.

Perhaps if we take the time to care and love our hair we will truly realize, its beautiful.

And when the going gets tough, and at times it will, say these words to yourself,

"Because its beautiful"